ménage à trois
okay so you know what's coming.
And this one has been in the works for some time now... I have a certain SOMEONE who has been pushing for me to publish this hehehe.
(wow I just out loud giggled writing that)
But it is the story of my first threesome... Since then I may or may not have had another, but who knows... I guess that's another story for another day.
So I have this friend, let's call her Ebony. Now I love Ebony with all my heart. And I think that this story actually needs some context because the history of our friendship plays a big part in the lead up to all of this.
Me and Ebony met probably 4 or so years ago now? Maybe more? But we've become close over the last 2 or 3. This is during the time of covid first coming around, and huge changes in the world. So what with everything going on, and both of us losing friends around the same time, we started to hang out more, get to know each other, and talk more. Because nothing joins two girls together like having lost toxic best friends. Because we had simply outgrown them and we were people that were starting to step into being more ourselves, but that maybe people that our old friends didn't like. The fucking divine timing in all of this though is that me and Ebony, we became these people that we grew into, through the process of shedding skins and drifting apart from friends, of finding each other, and we realised we are two peas in a goddamn pod. And so we fucking bonded over shared trauma and it was beautiful. We stepped into the bad ass bitches that we are. The hoes if you will. The hoes that our old friends could never have let us be. Hoes that were kind of shunned and shamed for being hoes, but you know what, does it look like we give a f*ck? No, because we are hoes together and we support each other in being our most authentic, hoe-full selves.
This kind of leads us to one of the defining moments in our relationship, and what's fucking funny about this part, is that we were chatting about this moments months later, and both re-told it and simultaneously and individually recognised it, that it was the moment that we both were like "oh fuck, oh okay. i fuck with u bitch. u freaky. u a hoe. like damnnn girl you my type of bitch, i like you. okay, u Picasso." But at the time of this moment, we were chatting away as we always did at our favourite spot (iykyk), and we were chatting about sex, and what we like, and how we kinda liked it a little bit rough 🥺 and then that led to chatting about our sexualities. And we both talked about our sexualities of bi/queer/pan whatever, and we had both the exact same anxieties of trying to spell it out for people. In the fact that yes we like girls, and we like guys, but it's not exactly equal, we like them for different things and different reasons, maybe for dates and romance, or for a good fuck, like there's different energies. But then on top of that, how it is just so normal and expected and accepted for girls to hit on/get hit on by guys, and it is f*cking nerve-racking to then have to do that to girls. We talked about the way people spend years kind of practicing, from the moment we have our first kiss in often (but not always) our early teens years. And how we never got to do that with girls! And so like at that point, we both hadn't really done much with girls, other than oggle them. But we knew we wanted to, yknow? So within all of that, it was like what the f*ck do we call ourselves? Can we call ourselves bi if we hadn't? Like that whole queer anxiety thing.
But what was so great, and where we bonded, was like, oh fuck, wait you feel like that too? Omg you understand all of that? That made sense to you? And you then repeated it back to me in your own words? Like wowee man. That moment was goddamn beautiful :') And we kind of realised as we slowly started to drop little hints and opened the door a crack to our own sex lives and cautiously and curiously let each other in, that we realised we were both freaky as fuck.
and we both realised that deep down, we're just fucking queer hoes that'll sleep with anyone and we're horny as fuck. Two girls with the highest sex drives I have ever met. So freaking similar in so many ways, yet so total opposite. Highlighted by the way we handle our own said sex drives. I for one, have fallen in love multiple times, I have adored men, and lost myself in men, and can on occasion, become a little bit desperate for attention, whether from men or women, but that still shines through even in my single phases. I want more cuddles, and emotional sex. Also kinda freaky tantric sex and rope ties and all that jazz, cause... well it's me. But I am also that little bit more the romantic, the idealistic, the chaser, willing to put my heart out there.
She on the other hand, is so solidly in her single status it fucking amazes me. I have never seen a woman more strongly represent the friends with benefits relationship(s). And most women, myself included, (that I have seen anyway) when they try to do a fling, or a thing, or keep it casual, they are usually the ones who develop feelings, who end up getting hurt, who lean towards hoping that it might go somewhere. Not Ebie. Goddamn she is a heartbreaker and that is one of the things I love about her. Yes, she has had relationships, and she has gotten hurt before, but she is oftentimes the one breaking hearts. Leaving boys on read, turning down DTR's from boys who swore black and blue they were just in it for the sex. She has boys take her to hotels, and wine her and dine her, boys who she has casual flings with, who hang out with her and vibe with her, and then inevitably they fall for her. And I watch the whole thing, the mess that she leaves behind her and I just laugh. Finally, a woman I can watch and wonder at, who dishes it back to men and stands strong in her own, she is truly the definition of does not need no man. And I fucking love her to death because of it.
But wow, what a sidetrack, back to the story.
So me and Eb basically fucking love sex yeh? You see the trend?
We're horny, we're wild, and we albeit go about it in different ways, but we goddamn get that DICK (and the occasional pussy).
So we met, we talked about sex, we bonded. Throughout all of this we start to get closer and closer, and chat more about our sex and dating lives and etc. We start talking about what we like, our kinks, our hopes and dreams for in the bedroom, what we wanna do. We both had stories, and have explored dick - it's been fun, we share wild anecdotes, we're living our best with popcorn listening to each other. But the theme that arises, is that yes dick has been fun, but fuck we both want to explore more in the girls department... more poly play and experimentation...
Now I can't remember how it happened, but as we got closer, and started talking, we both kinda admitted that if there was anyone either of us would feel comfortable having a threesome with, in terms of another girl at least, it was each other. Now this became a common joke between us for a while, almost a tease if you will. And almost in the literal sense, because there was multiple occasions where it nearly happened, or could have had the opportunity to happen. The closest call being when we were at a club, and I was with an Irish guy that I had tuned, and as he met Ebony, he kind of looked at me and looked back to her, and had a grin on his face. And of course he looked at us standing there giggly coyly, and asked us if we wanted to try it, and we were tempted... we were f*cking this close 👌 to going home with him - but alas I had work the next day and he lived forever away. So it was not to be. Like a dandelion in the wind, we watched it float away. (and yes, I'm still salty about it).
And so the night finally comes, where our wandering thoughts and daydreams came to life.
Again, we were out clubbing, and we were in the line. One of our girlfriends calls out to a friend she knew, and called him and his mates over to stand with us in line. We all started chatting, and me and Ebbie were laughing and getting along with this one guy... let's call him Louis.
Now as the conversation goes along it gets a little bit flirty, as it so often does (especially when you get asked what you do, and the answer is sexology), and the topic of threesomes came up.
Now at this point me and Eb did a definite look at each other... Like a confirmation to each other, 'is this it, could this be the night? are you interested in him cause I kinda am?' a silent communication and though we later confirmed verbally, with that one look we pretty much already knew the vibe. And he knew it too. He noticed it, said what's that look for huh you two? And he played into it. Teased us with it. It was hot and it definitely worked a treat.
So we all walk into the club, and kind of go our separate ways for a bit, Louis leaving us with a wink. We go off and dance with our girls. We grab drinks, I have a smoke, the usual.
And then Louis finds us again. And we all start dancing. All of us girls and him and his mates. And it's fun, we're all get along and grooving and vibing.
And then Louis starts making moves on Ebbie.
And then he starts making moves on me.
And all of our girls are just standing there watching like wait, what the f*ck just happened... and when did that happen?!
And we just laughed and giggled and relished in the feeling of the dance floor and the lights and the steamy, kind of secret but definitely kind of not, kisses between all three of us.
The night moves on, and some of the girls have gone home, but there's me and Eb, and another friend of ours with the mate she knew, and Louis. And we're all walking down the street causing a ruckus as you do on a night out. Walking with that half-drunk confidence and giddiness, plus the added excitement of what might be to come.
And so we all go to their house, and hang out and chill out.
And hands start creeping and eyes start wandering, so we step outside and I have a smoke.
But hands start wandering more...
and then suddenly I'm getting kissed and pushed against walls, and hands are sliding up my thighs.
And then it slowly switches, as his hands start wandering up Ebony's thigh, and I see he slowly starts to turn to her and push her up against a wall.
Starts to lift her up onto the bench and push her legs apart. And I'm sitting there watching, getting wetter and wetter, even without his hands on me, still feeling that feeling of getting turned on.
It was hot.
And so things progress more, and at this point we know we need to take it to the bedroom and so we find a bed. And we lay down while Louis went and stepped outside. And holy f*ck we giggled.
This was about to finally happen. We checked in again with each other, making sure we thought that this wouldn't do anything to our friendship, because that always came first. And we laughed and we hoped that it wouldn't, but excited and nervous to see what would happen.
But alas, the story won't really end in the way you expect it to.
The mans didn't have a condom.
And so we didn't have penetrative sexual intercourse... but goddamn did we make up for it.
Don't get me wrong though, the boy tried to put it in on multiple occasions, but we were (fairly) strong in our convictions and wanting to be sexually safe.
But what we did do instead was roll around and play with each other's bodies.
We both fingered our first vaginas (go us!) and explored how it felt to be in bed with a girl. I watched her get on top and tease him, and ride him, I watched as she leaned back into it and I saw the curve of her back and the way it flowed into the curve of her hips and down her legs and over her knees as they bent over him and held her body above him.
And damn did I worship the female form in that moment. At moments I definitely forgot about Louis there, and had most of my attention on the soft curves of the female body in front of me.
Ebbie didn't know at the time, but I can ever so distinctly recall the moment she gave him head, and the way that I was so impressed because I swear to god that dick vanished down that throat of hers. It was like a game of hide and seek. And I know that I am good at head, but girl I am not that good, even I was impressed. And she could just comfortably suck it, deep throat, and not once did she gag on it. For me that takes effort man, and something I really only do when I love someone. It's like my gag reflex knows, and just won't let me go to town like that.
And especially in this moment, where even as she was giving him head, I wasn't watching him, I was watching her, appreciating her, and her skill, the way she looked, recognising the way that I probably looked when I fucked guys. And damn it was hot... women are just so f*cking hot.
And it definitely confirmed for me how queer I am.
Don't get me wrong though, Louis was great, but I realised how much I liked touching her, touching a woman, it's just a whole different energy, not only from them but in the way you move towards them. With men I know what works, I know how I look and how to act and the sexual menu, I know what I like, generally what they like, and the way it all flows together.
With women it's all so new, and exciting but also nerve-racking.
Your fingers now shake a little bit as they trail her body, unsure if what they're doing is working, hoping that it is. And the nerves mean you go a little bit softer, a little bit sweeter, and maybe that's also because it's a woman in front of you, this small little tender thing, in comparison to the men and the muscles that are usually on the receiving end of your touch.
It's just a whole different ball game. And then as you start to get more comfortable, (and you already know she likes it rough), you try and nervously add that top energy into it, you feel as your hand creeps up her neck and starts to squeeze, and you watch as her body reacts under your hand, and you feel the power in that moment of being on the other end of the power-play... and then you probably ruin it by giggling because you're so not used to it and remember that Louis is there and you're kinda hogging all the booty. But fuck for that split second I could feel the electricity running through my body, not from being chased by someone, but by doing the chasing...
And so it continues. For hours. Until about 4 in the morning. That's when I called it and I couldn't take it any longer, my body craved sleep. And so you roll over, and you tell them to have fun, and you hear them keep going for at least another few hours, until it comes around to 8am and your alarm goes off and you have to gather your thoughts and your clothes and your sleep-deprived and sex-ravaged body together in order to get to work.
But not before Louis steps outside again, and you two roll over to look at each other and burst out into a fit of laughter and giggles, with a holy fucking shit we actually did that, and a high-five to seal the deal.
We laughed because it was absolutely exactly the same, and nothing had changed between us. Because we had just done something like that, and explored and touched each others bodies and held each other during sex, and watched each other get eaten out and thrown around, and were still able to look each other in the eye in the morning as if nothing had even happened that night.
And so it has been ever since, we laugh about it and love it and it's just something that we did, as friends, what a fun cool little thing we did. And we were totally not surprised at all.
It is us after all, two horny best friends willing to try a whole heap of things in the bedroom. And who better to have that experience than with someone you know, and love and trust, someone you know you are already attracted to. Someone you know the vibe is already there, that the intimacy and the trust and the flirtatious cheek, all of what makes sex fun, it's already there. A person in your life that already means a lot to you, but that you know you won't really develop emotional feelings for you because you're pretty much already set in stone as best friends, and you know that you two work best in that way, the people you are and the energy would be too much to handle together in a relationship. And just because we are bi (and have had explorations of sex together) doesn't mean we automatically want to be together. We just like sex, and we like each other.
And as so many friends have asked us since, 'was it was weird...?' the answer is no, it just wasn't.
It's like playing tennis, or going to the beach, or eating at a cafe together. It's a thing humans can do. And when you are both someone who the other knows can be pretty damn good in bed, then why not try it out with each other? Have a game and have a play with each other? I don't know that's just my perspective on it. And I'm pretty glad we did it, because all the rumours are true about us - we are pretty fucking fantastic at fucking. And holy hell was it a great way to have our first threesome.